Compatibility for getting married

Q. I am about to get married in a couple of months. The girl is a practicing Muslim and follows Islam. My question is, “What are some other criterias that must be fulfilled to know if this person is compatible with me”?

A. While outlining the different matters in which compatibility lies, the jurists have written that besides belonging to the same religion, Islam, one must look to the (other) would-be spouse to see if he/she is equal with respect to his/her practices in Islam. That is, with respect to religiousness and following the teachings of Islam, both spouses should be compatible. It should not be that one person is practical about Islam, while the other neglects all the Islamic duties.

Compatibility also lies in the financial status of the parties. It means that if one party is from a background which is well-off, and accustomed to a certain level of living, then he/she must look for someone who is of a similar level.

Compatibility also exists in the religion of one’s parents. This means that a boy whose parents are Muslims, would not be compatible to a girl whose parents are non-Muslims, and vice versa.

These are the areas in which compatibility must exist.

It should be understood that marriage is a contract where two strangers are coming together to live as one family. This relationship (that is created) is meant to last for a long time, and is not expected to be a short-lived, temporary relationship. Hence, in order to ensure that both parties live happy and comfortable with each other, Islam has placed certain guidelines which an unmarried person can follow in order to have a good, pleasant and successful marriage.

The above matters that I have mentioned are such that in their absence, a tremendous amount of problems can come about, which may eventually lead to a divorce. Hence, one should take these into consideration while choosing a spouse.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Waseem Khan